Too Much, Too Quick!

On January 13, 2009, I will be making the trek across the Atlantic to the motherland, Nigeria specifically, for my first-ever international experience. I have a whole slew of things running through my head of things to do, goodbyes to say, and all the other stuff in between. Quite honestly, I’ve been running from doing most of these things because I’m in denial that a dream like this is actually coming true.

I came to Washington University with the goal of completing a study abroad type of program through matriculation requirements of receiving an MSW. Taking 5-6 classes per semester, with practicum added in, and 1-2 jobs has been my life since I arrived in August 2007. However, I knew before stepping foot in the “Show-Me” state that this is what I would have to do in order to have my last semester free for international travel (cause I SURELY wasn't paying any more than the $60,000 than I needed to for matriculation)…and THIS opportunity to travel abroad and have it paid for essentially was the primary reason I chose WashU over University of Michigan. And so this is what I did: Killed myself for the last 4 semesters to have the freedom to go abroad for such an experience and now I'm finally here.

A year and a half later, I’m completing my last paper (damn Program Evaluation), tying up loose ends here in St. Louis, and trying to really grasp the fact that I’m not only leaving St. Louis, but I’m leaving the country to enter into “A Whole New World” (cue the Aladdin music NOW). I’ll be gone for approximately four months (until May 18), will return for about a week and a half only to head out for a cruise to the Bahamas (graduation gift to self with my homies!), returning from that 4-day trip to leave for the Peace Corps-South America on June 1, 2009. So, basically, I’m saying goodbye to everything and everyone I know and the comforts of America for 3 years…and “I’m feeling some type of way” about that...but it's time to FLY.

Anyways, the purpose of this blog will be to record my professional experience working with an NGO in Ibadan, Nigeria, Centre for Enterprise Development and Action Research (CEDAR) as well as to share my personal thoughts and experiences as an international graduate student living in this West African country. I hope to provide a little laughter to my readers, but more importantly, shed light, from my personal experiences, on what it’s REALLY like to live in a developing country and to dismantle some of my own cultural biases and stereotypes on African living. I really hope that this blog will be an avenue to work on my writing skills (which I’ve been DYING to do for quite some time now), to be concise yet detailed, express humor but not be obnoxious, and to integrate all of this in a weekly or bi-monthly blog. I hope to return to the states (as briefly as it will be) with a new outlook on life and for a bigger heart for international service and development. Below are some of my current questions/fears/desires for my travel overseas as well as this transition period out of my Master’s program:

10 Questions/Fears/Desires…

• Given the new set of sisters and friends I have gained in STL (Mahone, Megs, Dunn, Tati, Esther, JillK, Bibel, and YKung) as well as old friends in Philly (Killa and RougyeMama) and Kali (Nika and RachaelBoo) who have been, to say the least, my rocks/foundations over the last 7 months especially but since I arrived in STL in general (or childhod in some cases), how will I manage life without having contact with them everyday? I am forced to be with and talk with myself alone…how will I do it? Have I really been using these quality, clutch women to hide behind and/or not deal with my problems (which are extensive to say the least)? And will our friendships be maintained over the next four months and for the rest of our lives?

• Am I going to get sick? I was warned of diarrhea…I’ve never experienced this (maybe when I was a baby)…but I don’t do sick (so folks need to start prayin' for a spiritual covering to prevent sickness)!
  
  


• What will God teach me about my own spiritual walk? I know God’s gonna teach me A LOT about myself in the next four months especially…how will I turn out once this experience has completed? My faith will increase, but what choices will I be forced to make once I return about changes to my lifestyle?
  
  


• Limited electricity and internet…WHAT will I do without such advanced technology? No, seriously.
  
  


• Will I get over my American self and not be culturally offensive? Will I be targeted by Nigerians as a stupid American to be taken advantage of? (Will my Crocs be cool or not?) Or will I be viewed as Nigerian (I've been asked on more than one occassion am I African...I think this is moreso from my last name, but I've also been told I look African. Hmmm...??)?
  
  


• I hope to begin narrowing my PhD topic through my international experience with CEDAR. Looking at asset building, youth entrepreneurship, and community engagement within the international context (essentially the work I’ll be doing with CEDAR). How does youth engagement via community service work in the international context? Or does it?
  
  


• I want to learn to not feel the need to HAVE a man in my life during this four-month experience ESPECIALLY, but for the next 3 years in general. I want a new perspective on dating and I hope that this time away from the States will really help me to narrow down what I want from a mate, how I need to work on myself to attain more self-respect, and to NOT deal with b.s. from guys who I know aren't really worth my time. How will God make me into a better example/reflection of Him? How will He mold me into a better woman of God????? And, again, what will I need to change about my lifestyle in order for that to come into fruition?
  
  


• I hope to begin concrete progress on my book. I need to have that joint ready for publishing in the next 1.5 years.
  
  


• Will I make the most of my experience and force myself outta my box to talk with strangers and to learn through communication what it’s like to live in such a developing country?
  


• Can I truly live as an ex-patriot? This will be the test.
  

This is just the beginning. Please keep me in your prayers, give me your feedback on my writing style, and love on me in spirit and stay in contact with me to make me smile with the familiar, as I make this bold step of faith into new, unchartered territory: JadeinNigeria!