Think Before You Speak; Then Speak with Integrity/Sunset in one land is Sunrise in another

Well, it’s less than 6hrs until I board the plane to start this adventure in Ibadan and I must say that I still can’t believe this is really happening. Over three months of fighting for the ability to leave the U.S. to enter Nigeria, several phone calls that left me frustrated and confused, tears of joy and sorrow shed, and continued prayers and words of encouragement from family and close friends all still leaves me feeling quite nervous and scared but I’m looking forward to this opportunity (and the warmth of Nigeria). I feel loved by those closest to me and that this decision to go away for a semester is what I need.

Today, I don’t have much to say – I’m still in shock and somewhat out of it (RANDOM: Malaria pills are HUGE - just popped my second one, YUCK!!). I’m so thankful for the opportunity to do this, even with all the ups and downs I have faced and will face in the coming weeks. Looking ahead to what Nigeria has in store for me specifically, but 2009 more generally, I think about exercising my agency, my ability to choose to do (or not do) something. 2008 was filled with poor decision-making left and right, so I’m hoping that by the end of 2009, there is a reflection of better decisions.

Today, I’m choosing to…
…step foot on an airplane that will not stop for roughly 12hrs, break, and continue to another jet for another 8.5hrs;
…open myself up to a new way of living, literally and figuratively;
…rekindle a better relationship with God, strengthening my faith in God for health and safety protection;
…develop my ability to clearly express myself to others, demonstrating my (un)willingness to do something and be firm about it;
…leave the mistakes of 2008 behind and instead focus on managing the consequences of 2008 and moving forward;
…fully commit to my work with CEDAR.

Briefly, here are some of the things I’ll be doing with CEDAR this semester:
1) Social entrepreneurship summit for March 2009 (linking people to opportunities and networking to develop social responsibility);
2) Needs assessment and program development for a new foundation;
3) Working with a women’s organization to develop a youth centre in a small village;
4) Developing a service learning program with the University of Ibadan’s Distance Learning Centre;
5) Several conferences, professional development workshops, and meetings that will enhance my understanding of international social development

I’m REALLY interested in #4 as service learning is my passion. I’ve had interest in this area, particularly as it relates to youth development and community engagement, since my sophomore year at the University of Michigan. I had my own service learning experience there, and I found that my stress level was down and my grades got better during participation in such a course of learning about and serving the homeless of Ann Arbor, MI. The field of service learning, in terms of its affect on academic achievement, has relatively little concrete research, which is why it’s not as wide-spread as most would think. I’m sure that this is the area in which my PhD will focus, but I’m hoping this experience with CEDAR and my time with Peace Corps will confirm that direction.

I’ll be living in an apartment by myself and hoping to immerse myself in the Nigerian culture. I look forward to the new foods, language, etc when I arrive, though I’m terrified of sickness and being too American.

Here’s the lyrics of the song that is my inspiration for 2009. Thanks again for the prayers and words of encouragement (sorry there wasn’t much humor today…I’m literally walking out of the door in 20mins to head to the airport with nerves having been taken down a few notches during the writing process).

Until I touch down in the Mothaland,

Mucho Amor,

Haley aka JadeinNigeria

“I Choose” by India.Arie
Because I neva know where life is gonna take me
And I can’t change where I’ve been
But TODAY
I have the opportunity to choose!

Here I am now lookin at 30 and I got so much to say
I gotta get this off my chest, I gotta let it go today
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think
But I can’t live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me
I’ve reached a fork in the road of my life
Ain’t nothin gonna happen unless I decide

So, I choose
To be the best that I can be
I choose
To be authentic in everything (I do)
My past don’t dictate who I am
I choose

I done been through some painful things, never thought I would make it through
Filled up with shame, from the top of my head to the soles of shoes
I’ve put myself in so many chaotic circumstances
By the grace of God I’ve been given so many second chances
But today I decided to let it all go
I’m droppin’ these bags and makin room for my joy!

So, I choose
To be the best that I can be
I choose
To be authentic in everything (I do)
My past don’t dictate who I am
I choose

Because I neva know where life is gonna take me
And I can’t change where I’ve been
But today, I have the opportunity to choose
Release the guilt about why things that happen the way they do
Cause life is gonna do what it do
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose

From this day forward, I’m going to be exactly who I am
I don’t need to change the way that I live just to get a man
Even had a talk with my Father and I told him the day I …
From this day forward every decision will be my own